


Reliving Us

by love_utube



Category: Youtube RPF, tronnor - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-16 05:44:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4613421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_utube/pseuds/love_utube
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Troye woke up to find everything was different. The scared lost kid was an internet star, the people he was scared of his friends, and his number one bully his boyfriend. He quickly learned that he had constructed a different world for himself, after being in a coma. His memory was coming back, but would it be enough to keep ahold of the one thing he had truly started to remember: Connor Franta?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Troye**

"Troye, you've got to go to school," Tyde called through his door.

Troye had been awake for a few hours, after a nightmare woke him up. He'd already gotten dressed and was distracting himself on the computer.

"Okay," he called back. He didn't want to go to school at all.

School meant the bullies.

They were the group of popular people that decided Troye would make a good target.

The only one of them who didn't ever hurt Troye, who came to him at the end of the day and made sure he was okay, who texted him to warn him of attacks, was Zoe. She was too nice to hurt anyone, but her boyfriend Alfie and her brother Joe were both part of the group, so she had little say.

As he was walking down the stairs, he got a text from Zoe. They'd saved each other on their phones under aliases, Ella and June, because Troye didn't want people to get suspicious of Zoe.

**Ella:** Stay away from your locker today. They want to get you there.

**June:** Thanks as always.

He reminded himself desperately that there was only one year left. As a senior, he was going away to college next year.

"I'm heading out!" Troye called.

"Without breakfast?" Troye's mother called back.

"I'll get some there. I'm late!"

He wasn't late, but he wasn't hungry. He was too nervous, just like every day. He couldn't remember the last time he ate breakfast.

He hurried to his car, playing music from his speaker the whole way there.

The morning went okay. He avoided detection. Even in the afternoon, he hid away.

But after school they found him by his car. He was cornered.

Standing close to him, grinning, were 8 of the people that caused his nightmares. Zoe, a 9th, stood farther back, looking down sadly.

He glanced at each of them.

Marcus Butler. Quarterback and captain of the football team. Really, really strong.

Caspar Lee: Captain of the baseball team. He could swing a bat hard and a fist harder.

Joe Sugg. Captain of the basketball team. Tall, fast, and strong. Zoe's brother.

Alfie Deyes. Zoe's boyfriend. Also on the football team. Strong grip, for holding people down.

Louise Petland. Not about throwing punches. Really good at finding people. Liked to use words as weapons.

Hannah Hart. Grace Helbig. Mamrie Hart. "The Trio." The bad girls of the school. Drunk a lot. Know how to avoid detection and get out of trouble.

Behind them all, Zoe Sugg. His only sort-of-friend. She was his friend, but not at school. They sometimes hung out, but Troye made sure it was at least an hour away from their town. He didn't want Zoe to get hurt.

One person was missing from Troye's line of sight. He backed up against his car, looking at the 8, well, 9, people there. He only had to worry about eight of them.

"Thought you'd escaped us, Sivan?" There he was. He pushed in between Alfie and Marcus, moving to the front of the group.

Captain of the swim team. The track star. The one all the girls loved. A sure win for prom king. The mastermind behind all of it.

Connor Franta.

"N-no," Troye stuttered. "I was just heading home."

"Oh, you were?" Caspar jeered from Connor's left.

"Can we get it this time, Con?" Joe asked.

"Sure," Connor replied, waving his hand dismissively.

Troye had no idea whose fist it was, that hit him in the cheekbone hard. He was knocked back into his car, stars clouding his vision. His head slammed into his car and he gasped in pain, the world darkening around him.

**Connor**

3 weeks and 4 days. 25 days total. He still went to the hospital every day.

"Con, you need to eat now," Zoe said.

"I'll eat later. I have to stay with Tr..." His voice broke.

None of them had seen the car coming until the last second. Troye, Zoe, and Connor had been walking together. Troye pushed Connor and Zoe out of the way.

Which was why he was laying in the hospital bed, unconscious. His face had been so peaceful for the entire time, but he hadn't woken up.

"Con, I know you have-" Zoe started, but stopped. "Look," she whispered.

Connor turned back to Troye. After three weeks of being completely blank, Troye's eyebrows had furrowed and his lips were parted slightly.

"Do you think he's waking up?" Connor asked urgently.

"I'll get a doctor." Zoe was gone.

Connor stared at Troye, not believing what was happening.

Zoe came back with the doctor and a nurse.

"Sir, please, step back," the nurse said.

"Oh, of course," Connor said. As much as he wanted to be next to Troye, he knew the nurse knew what was best.

"It would seem as though your friend is waking up. Could you two step outside while we talk to him, quickly. We're unsure of the state he will be in," the doctor said.

"I-"

"Come on Con. It's for Troye's sake." Zoe led him outside.

**Troye**

He slowly woke up, immediately noticing the ache in his head.

"Ugh," he moaned.

He was surprised to find that he wasn't laying on the ground. In fact, he was in bed.

His arm was uncomfortable. He moved to scratch it.

"Grab his arm. He might rip out the I.V."

I.V?

Troye took a breath when he felt a hand guide his arm back to his side.

He slowly opened his eyes, letting them adjust to the light. A man, definitely the doctor, was standing over him with a woman, a nurse.

"Hello sweetie," the nurse said. Troye blinked a few times at her tone.

His first realization was that he was definitely in a hospital.

His second was that he wouldn't hear the end of it from Franta and his group at school.

He tried not to panic.

"Can you tell me your name?" the nurse asked with a smile.

Troye tried to talk, but the mask on his face stopped him. The nurse realized this and took it off his nose and mouth.

"Troye Sivan Mellet."

"Good. Mr. Mellet, there are some people here to see you. Can we let them in?"

"Sure," Troye said. He assumed it was his parents, Tyde, Sage, Steel, or maybe Zoe. He doubted that Zoe was there, though. He'd always told her to stay away from him.

'I'll go first and let you prepare." The voice surprised him. It was Zoe.

"Zoe," he said, smiling at her.

"Troye! Oh my god. You hit your head so hard. We were so worried. Your family is here, but I made them go back because they needed to sleep."

"Thanks for looking out for them," Troye said. The door opened again, and he looked up.

He felt his breathing quicken. The machines beeped faster. He was terrified.

Because there, looking immensely worried and walking towards him, was the last person he wanted to see.

Connor Franta.

"Tro! Thank god you're okay." Franta moved closer.

"Mr. Franta," the nurse said, stopping him. "You're going to have to leave."

"But-"

"You're causing Mr. Mellet a lot of panic." Before Franta could argue, the nurse pushed him out the door. Troye managed to calm down, eventually.

Zoe was gripping his hand. She looked worried and confused, but she didn't say anything.

"Mr. Mellet? Can you tell me how you got here? Miss Sugg can leave if you need," the doctor said.

"No," Troye said. "Zoe can stay. She knows everything anyway."

"Start at the beginning then."

And he did. He talked about the bullying, about Zoe and Ella, about everything.

"Oh my god," Zoe said quietly when he was done. Troye looked in between her and the doctor. Zoe looked sad and the doctor had furrowed brows.

"Miss Sugg, why don't you tell him your version of events?"

Zoe nodded and opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by a nurse barging into the room.

"We've got a patient in critical condition," she said, "you're the only doctor available."

"Okay. Please go ahead and explain to Mr. Mellet, Miss Sugg." He was gone like that.

"Zoe?" Troye asked one the doctor was gone.

"Troye. Oh, Troye," she said. "Can you listen to me without freaking out?"

"I'll try," Troye replied. He sat up against the pillows on the bd.

"What really happened... Tro, that was all in your head," Zoe said.

"W-what?"

Zoe explained. She explained that he was a YouTuber and a musician. She explained what a YouTuber was.

Something came back to him.

_They were in the bathroom. Zoe was putting a waxing strip on Troye's leg._

_"Favorite Tumblr account," Troye read._

_"I don't know. I don't remember the ones I follow," Zoe replied. "I follow soooo many."_

_Then it was Troye's turn. He braced himself as Zoe grabbed the strip to pull it._

_"Mine is..."_

_Zoe faked pulling the strip off, laughing. "This is torture now. This is torturing me," Troye complained._

_"My favorite tumblr is," he hesitated, and when Zoe didn't pull the strip he exclaimed "go!"_

_"Tyleroakley.tumblr.com!" Troye cried out in pain._

_He was too focused on the pain to really hear what was happening, but he heard Zoe say "this one's for you, Tyler!"_

_"Thanks boo," a male voice called from the other room._

"You waxed my legs," Troye said.

"What? I- Yes! I did. You remember that?"

"Yeah," Troye said. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Who is tyleroakley.tumblr.com?"

Zoe frowned. "Tyler was your... friend. But you two had a fight a while ago."

"Oh," Troye replied. He wanted to ask about her hesitation, but didn't. "Uh, keep going."

She explained that Marcus, Alfie, Joe, Caspar, Louise, Mamrie, Hannah, and Grace were not actually bullies. They were his friends.

She explained how Troye ended up in the hospital.

"We were walking with Connor and, well, neither of us saw the car coming until you did at the last second. You, uh, pushed us out of the way. You were out for 25 days."

"I..." Troye thought for a minute. "Can I ask you another question?"

"Yeah."

"You said Alfie, Joe, and all of them aren't actually bullies. I think I get that. They're my friends here, right?"

"Right."

"But you avoided Connor. What about him?"

"Tro..." Zoe said. "I'm not sure how to tell you this. But Connor, he's, well, here he's your... he's your boyfriend."

"My b-boyfriend?"

Zoe nodded.

"But I always thought he was straight."

_"Tro, can I talk to you now?"_

_"Con... right now's not really the best time." Connor had been outside Troye's apartment when he got home. All Troye wanted to do was curl up under the covers, cry, and mute_ him _on every social media site ever._

_"But-"_

_"Tyler just... he cheated. I found out and... well. We're through now and I..."_

_"Oh, Tro. I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't really important, I promise. Please?"_

_"Tomorrow, Con. Give me one day."_

_"Tomorrow."_

_"Thanks."_

_**_

_"I know this is the worst time to do this, but it's eating me up inside and I need to tell you."_

_"Okay," Troye whispered, wiping more tears from his eyes. He was torn up over Tyler. But he would have to get over it._

_"Tro... you're my best friend so I'm going to... I'm going to be completely honest here. I'm... I'm..."_

_"Con?"_

_"Troye, I'm gay."_

"Oh," Troye said. "Oh."

"Troye?"

"I remembered something else."

"What was it?"

"Connor coming out. I was upset because Tyler was..."

"I guess I should explain Tyler, then," Zoe said.

"Yeah."

"I only heard after, from you. You two broke up late January. You told me after, though, that you two were kind of over around New Years already."

"Oh."

"Connor came out to you the day after the break up."

"Yeah."

"You two weren't out online yet... you guys thought it was too personal."

"Right."

"Can he..."

"Tell him to come in. But don't tell him that I forgot."

Zoe nodded and stepped outside. Troye waited, nervous, until the door opened.

Connor walked in. Another memory resurfaced when Troye saw his face.

_"Tro?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"It's been almost five months. When are you going to-"_

_"I've already moved on, Con. I've got a crush." It was true, but Troye said it mainly to shut Connor up._

_"And you didn't tell me? Spill, Sivan."_

_Shit._

_"N-no!" Troye exclaimed. His crush was Connor. He wasn't going to expose that and lose another friend. He wasn't going to repeat Tyler._

_"Troyeeeeee!"_

_"No."_

_"I'll tell you my crush if you tell me yours."_

_"F-fine," Troye said. He really wanted to know Connor's crush._

_"Wait, what?"_

_"You weren't expecting me to agree?" Troye asked, raising an eyebrow._

_"No... I," Connor blushed._

_"You first, Con."_

_"But-"_

_"Backing out?"_

_"Uh..."_

_"Come on." Connor looked away. Troye blinked a few times. It was Connor's idea. "Con?"_

_"It's you, okay!" Connor suddenly exclaimed. He met Troye's eyes. "It's you. It's always been you," he whispered._

_"Connor." Troye reached out and put a hand on Connor's shoulder. Connor stepped back._

_"I'm sorry."_

_"It's okay."_

_"Tell me yours now," Connor said._

_Troye stepped forward, causing Connor to step back into the wall. He grinned._

_"Is that an order, Franta?"_

_"I... uh... Tr-Troye!" Troye pinned Connor against the wall._

_"You want to know, don't you?" Troye whispered in Connor's ear._

_"Y-yeah."_

_"It's you."_

_Connor's eyes widened. Troye smiled to himself. He kissed Connor gently._

_"I love you."_

_**_

_Troye was walking with his best friend and boyfriend._

_Boyfriend. It was still crazy. After almost a year, too._

_They were crossing the street. Troye looked left, he wasn't even sure why._

_He saw the car._

_Connor and Zoe didn't. And they were right in the way of it._

_He reacted quickly, jumping forward and pushing them out of the way._

_But he didn't react quickly enough. As they fell out of the way, he fell into the way. He saw the car try to stop. It barely hit him, barely nudged him. That wasn't the problem. He couldn't stop his fall. His head crashed into the pavement._

_The pain in his head made everything go dark._

"Oh," Troye breathed.

"Troye?" Zoe asked. He looked past her at Connor.

"Come here," he said, pointing at Connor.

Connor stepped nervously forward. His hair was a mess. There were bags under his eyes.

"You have questions, don't you?"

"Y-yeah."

"I'll answer them. Zoe, can you call my family and tell them I'm okay?"

"Oh, sure," Zoe said. She turned and walked outside, glancing behind her at Troye as she did.

"Tell me what happened, Tro," Connor said.

"Is that an order, Franta?" Troye grinned. Connor gasped.

"You..."

"I?"

"You remember that?"

"Of course I do. I remember most things, but some parts are still a little cloudy. I remember you, though." He knew it was a lie, but sometimes a lie was the best thing to tell. In this case, he knew it was. He saw the tears in Connors eyes and smiled gently at him. "You have to understand, though, I reacted so poorly earlier because I was confused and had just woken up." Connor nodded. He kept crying.

"I thought I lost you," Connor whispered after a little while. Troye swung his legs around to the side of the bed. He faced Connor.

"Con," he said quietly.

"I'm sorry... I... you just woke up and I..." Troye carefully pulled on Connor's arm until he was sitting in the chair next to his bed.

Connor broke down, sobbing.

"I thought I'd lost you forever. Both of us disappeared from YouTube and the rest of the internet for three weeks. Oh my god, what if people hate me. What if-"

"Con," Troye said. "Connor, look at me. You're going to be okay. We're going to be okay. I'm right here. We'll just explain to people what happened."

"But we're not..."

"Out on the internet? We'll work it out."

"I just-"

"Connor, I love you so much. We will figure this out. As long as we're together."

"Tro..." Connor leaned forward and gave Troye a hug. Troye let him cry on his shoulder for a while.

"Con?" Troye asked once Connor had calmed down.

"Yeah?"

"How much do the fans know? About the accident and stuff." He was still a little confused on the whole idea of having fans, but he knew from Zoe's explanation that they existed.

_A crowd of people, more like a sea, stretched out through the big room. Screaming Troye's name._

He blinked a few times, clearing the memory from his head.

"Not much..." Connor said. "Not anything, really. Only that we disappeared for three weeks."

"Let's make a video, then." Things were slowly coming back to him.

_It was late at night. Troye sat, groaning in frustration as the sound wouldn't sync again. The editing software on his computer wasn't cooperating._

_"What's up?" Connor asked, coming in from the other room. He was rubbing sleep from his eyes, wearing only sweat pants. He'd obviously just woken up._

_"I can't get it to work, and I said I'd upload tomorrow," Troye groaned._

_"Let me do it," Connor said. He sat down next to Troye and took the computer, busily working away. Troye watched the concentration on his face with a smile._

_"Thanks, Con," Troye said. "It was stressing me out."_

_"There you go," Connor said, handing the laptop back. "I was having the same problem earlier. It should work now."_

_Troye smiled as the video played._

_"And you're welcome. Let's go to bed, now, shall we."_

_"Sure."_

"I don't know, Troye."

"It will just be you filming me, Con. I'll explain everything."

"If you're so sure."

"Go get the camera," Troye said with a smile.

Connor nodded. "I love you, see you soon," he whispered with a final kiss on Troye's cheek and hurried out.

"Love you too," Troye replied.


	2. 2

He was alone, for the first time since he'd woken up. He looked around the room. A grey beanie was on the table next to him.

 

_"I'm borrowing this beanie," Troye exclaimed, waving it above his head._

_"Troye! If we share clothes, the fans will guess-"_

_"I'm not taking no for an answer. It looks cute on me. I'm borrowing it." Connor reached for the beanie, but their height difference meant that he could easily hold it above Connor's head._

_"Trooooo," Connor wined. As he reached for the beanie again, Troye wrapped his free arm around Connor's waist, pulling him closer to him._

_"I'm borrowing the beanie, Con," Troye whispered. He used one hand to pull the beanie onto his head, struggling a little. Connor reached up to help him._

_"Fine. But if the fans take it as a sign, don't say I didn't warn you," Connor replied._

 

Troye smiled at the memory. Things were slowly clearing up in his head. It must have just been the shock of waking up that made him forget most of it.

"Troye, I called your parents, they're going to be here in like an hour. Con, I- wait, where's Con?" Zoe walked into the room with a smile.

 

_"I know who we should tell first!" Connor exclaimed suddenly. They were sitting at starbucks together._

_"Who?" Troye asked._

_"Zoe!"_

_"Zoe?"_

_"Yeah, Zoe. She's coming to visit in a few days anyway."_

_"Okay. And then we're telling our families."_

_"Right," Connor said. They smiled at each other. Troye couldn't believe it wasn't all a dream. He didn't want to wake up if it was._

_**_

_"Connor! Open the door!" Zoe called, knocking a few times. Connor stood up from the couch, where he and Troye were sitting. Troye was feeling more nervous now that the moment was finally upon them._

_Zoe learning their secret was it becoming really_ real.

_"Coming!" Connor called back. He turned to Troye and whispered "ready?"_

_"Yeah," Troye replied._

_"Thanks for letting me stay here," Zoe said when Connor opened the door._

_"Of course, Zo," Connor replied._

_"Your house is so cool, too," Zoe continued. "And I really like Troye on your couch. Wait, Troye?"_

_"Hey Zoe," Troye said with a giggle. Connor sat back down next to him._

_"I didn't expect to see you here," Zoe said, taking a seat in the comfy chair near the couch._

_"Well," Troye said. "Why wouldn't I be here?"_

_"What?"_

_"We kind of have something to tell you," Connor said. Troye glanced sideways at him, smirking slightly when he saw that Connor was blushing._

_"Tronnor's canon," Troye said excitedly, kissing Connor's cheek. Zoe smiled._

_"I called it," she said. "I knew it was going to happen eventually. Alfie owes me five bucks."_

_"Zo, you were not betting on when we were getting together," Troye said, laughing. Connor joined in._

_"I was. You underestimate me."_

_"Thanks for being cool with it, though," Connor said._

_"Course. I just have one question."_

_"What's that," Troye asked._

_"Have you done it yet?"_

_"ZOE!" Connor exclaimed, blushing red. Troye smirked and glanced down at one of the marks peeking out from Connor's collar._

"Connor went to go get his camera," Troye said, smiling at the memory.

"You're in a good mood," Zoe remarked.

"I'm slowly remembering things, the haze from earlier is clearing up. I think that the more things I'm exposed to, the more I'll remember, too," Troye replied.

"That might be true, Mr. Mellet. I apologize for leaving earlier," the doctor said, walking into the room.

"It's okay," Troye said.

"Let me say, you were lucky. Aside from your coma and concussion, you fared amazingly well physically. Scrapes and bruises aside, there's no real damage to your body."

"The car was stopping. I think that I mainly hit my head on the pavement," Troye said.

"That is probably the case. Have you contacted your family?"

"Zoe did," Troye said.

"They'll be here in about an hour," Zoe said. "They have to drive here, and traffic is always crazy."

"I'll come back in an hour, then," the doctor said.

"Thank you," Troye said.

"Why'd Con go to get the camera?" Zoe asked when the doctor had left.

"What? Oh, the camera. So that I could film an explanation video."

"That's probably smart. Despite us all keeping it on the down low, I saw a few pictures on tumblr of me or Con or one member of your family, I can't remember who, coming into the hospital."

Troye nodded. Then he thought of something.

"If I'm filming... I don't remember how I acted back then..."

"Connor doesn't know you forgot, does he?"

"I'm remembering things. And from what I've seen, telling him that I've forgotten would devastate him."

"You're smart, Troye, I'm sure if I show you one of your old videos, you'll be able to figure it out."

"Thanks, Zoe."

He watched as his face appeared on the screen. This time, it didn't call back any memories. But he paid close attention to it, making sure that he watched how he acted.

Zoe had said he was an actor, after all.

When they finished watching the video, they chatted for a bit.

"I got the camera," Connor said, bursting into the room after a while. Troye giggled at his smile.

"I'm going to go meet your family, Troye," Zoe said, winking at him as she left the room. What did she think was going to happen? They were so not having sex at the hospital. Some people never changed, though.

"I swear, she thinks about us having sex more than we do," Connor muttered as he set up the camera. Troye chuckled.

"She supports us, Con. It's a good thing."

"I know, but she could tone it down."

"True," Troye replied. He knew his hair was a mess, from not washing it, so he reached out and grabbed the beanie, shoving it on his head.

"It's still my fault if they take it as a sign?" Troye asked, looking up at Connor as he finished setting the camera up. Connor smiled slightly.

"Troye?" He asked tentatively.

"Yeah."

"I'm so glad you didn't forget. They said you might, when you woke up. If I lost you..." Connor trailed off. Then he shook his head, and looked up at Troye. "The camera's ready," he said.

"Con..." Troye said. He felt so guilty.

"I'm fine."

"Are you?"

"Yeah. You remember, so it's okay."

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure," Connor replied. "I'll start on three?"

"Sure," Troye said.

"One, two, three." Connor pointed at Troye.

"Hey guys, it's Troye," he said. He was glad he watched the video. Connor didn't know that he'd forgotten. And now Troye was surer. If Connor knew he would beat himself up over it. "And I have some explaining to do."

He took a deep breath, and smiled at the camera. "As you can tell, I'm not at home or in a hotel or somewhere like that. I think you might have guessed by now. I'm at the hospital."

Connor met his eyes and nodded encouragingly.

"I don't want you guys to worry about me. I'm going to be fine. You'll have to excuse my appearance, though, I haven't showered in forever."

He hoped to lighten the mood a little. This was a serious video, after all.

"But, I should explain why I'm here. And why Connor, Zoe, and I have been kind of inactive recently."

There was a second where he hesitated. He knew saying it out loud would make it more real. More obvious.

"I've been unconscious for 25 days."

Connor looked down. Troye knew he should continue.

"Again, don't worry. I'm fine. What actually happened is a little fuzzy to me, but basically I hit my head pretty hard. I was walking with Connor and Zoe and pushed them out of the way of a car. The car stopped in time, but I fell and hit my head. I'm not really hurt, though, so I should be out of here soon."

He considered what to say next. Something came to him.

"Guys, I'd like a favor. Please, don't pressure Connor for a new video. He's editing this one for me already. And I know he's beating himself up over this, because I was pushing him out of the way. Just be nice, okay? We'll get back into things soon, but life is a little crazy right now."

And then came the real test of what he 'remembered.'

"As always, I love you guys very much, and I'll see you next time. Byyyyeee," he called, winking. It was how he always ended videos, Zoe had said.

"Troye," Connor said when he was done. Troye smiled slightly, waiting for Connor to make a move. "Thank you. How did you know?"

"Because I can see it in your eyes. You feel guilty that I'm the one here in bed while you're the one that's not. It's okay, Con. I don't blame you, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I just..."

"Come here," Troye said, holding out his arms. Connor walked around from the foot of the bed and accepted the hug.

Troye didn't know how long he was hugging Connor for. They were interrupted by Zoe.

"Your parents are on their way up, Troye," Zoe said. "Sage, Tyde, and Steele are on their way, but they took a different car."

"They all came?" Troye asked. He expected his parents. But all his siblings too?

"Of course. They didn't know if you were going to wake up."

"Oh."

"Your mom's been crying a lot, you know."

"I'm going to go," Connor said. "I should edit this video." Then he was gone. When Troye was sure he was out of earshot, despite wanting to call after him, he closed his eyes.

"I don't remember them here," he whispered.

"What?"

"I only remember a little from here and the things from my dream. I didn't tell Con I didn't remember because... What if they hate me, Zoe?"

"Troye they're your family. And you're remembering things, right? Slowly?"

"Yeah..."

"You're worried about Connor more."

"How could you tell?"

"I know you."

"What if he leaves me? I don't remember everything but I remember that I love him."

"He won't leave, Troye. He knew already that you might have forgotten. But he stayed with you every day. He loves you."

"I know." But inside, he couldn't help but wonder. Would it be enough?


	3. 3

"Troye!!" Troye's mother burst into the room, followed by his father.

"Mom, dad," he said. Zoe put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently, before nodding at him and leaving silently.

"Troye!" His mom threw her arms around him. He chuckled a little, smiling as she relaxed into his shoulder.

"I'm okay mom," he said.

"I was so worried," she replied.

"You gave us quite a scare," his dad commented. Troye leaned back into his pillows when his mom let go.

"I know. I'm okay, though, see?" He made a vague gesture over his body. "Just a little tired, that's all."

"Thank god," his mom whispered. Troye smiled at them, but inside he was worried about what they were going to say when they found out about his memory. He half didn't want them to know. If they didn't know, he could keep on pretending.

"Mr. and Mrs. Mellet?" Troye's doctor entered the room, holding a clip board. Troye spotted Connor and Zoe in the hallway through the door.

"Yes," Troye's dad answered. Troye put a hand on his mom's shoulder, knowing what was about to happen and dreading it.

"It would seem as though, while unconscious, your son created an alternate reality of sorts to replace lost memories from the accident." It sounded so simple that way. The memories from his dream, of his friends being bullies and all that, were just constructed by his head to replace the ones he'd lost.

"What does that mean?" Troye's mom turned to him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"It means that as far as this," he gestured around the hospital room, "is concerned, I don't remember much. I think, but I'm not sure, that I remember things accurately from before high school, but high school and after, they're just gone. With a few exceptions, things I've remembered since I woke up."

"Troye," his mom whispered. Troye smiled weakly at her.

"I remember you guys, though. I remember Tyde and Sage and Steele and I remember Zoe some and Connor some. And things are still coming back to me."

"If I may," the doctor said, "Troye will be fine, his body didn't take too much damage. He was extraordinarily lucky. We have to keep him here for a few days, to run some tests and such, but he should be home by the end of the week."

"What's today?" Troye asked.

"Tuesday," the doctor said. Troye glanced over at his dad, who had been quiet for a while. Guilt pooled in his stomach as he saw the tears on his fathers face. "We'll start running tests tomorrow. I recommend you get some rest Mr. Mellet."

"Thank you," Troye said quietly. When the doctor was gone, he turned to his parents.

"Troye," his dad said.

"Like I said before. I'm okay. You don't need to worry," he said gently.

"Troye! Oh my god!" Sage burst into the room, throwing her arms around him. He chuckled a little at her.

"I'm fine," he whispered to her.

He told himself to keep saying that, because then maybe it might come true. He didn't feel fine. He was so worried about his parents and siblings, about Zoe and Connor, about his other friends, about his viewers. He was worried about himself, too.

"Glad you're okay, little bro," Steele said, appearing behind Sage and ruffling Troye's hair.

"Tro!" Tyde exclaimed, giving Troye a hug as Sage let go.

"Hey Tyde," Troye said. "I'm okay, see?"

"It was horrible without you," Tyde whispered. "I'm so glad you're okay." Troye rubbed his hair reassuringly.

"I'm okay. But I'm really tired," he said. He couldn't keep smiling, couldn't hold himself together for much longer. "I know you just got here but..."

"It's okay," Sage said before any of the other four could speak. "We should let you sleep."

Troye watched in surprise as she grabbed Tyde by the shoulder and Steele by the arm and dragged his brothers outside. His parents smiled sympathetically at him.

"They don't know, do they?" Troye asked.

"How could they? We just found out," his dad answered.

"Break it to them gently, please. And let them know I remember them. Let them know I love them," Troye said.

"Right," his mom said. "Well, we'll let you sleep." They turned to leave, but something occurred to Troye.

"And can you not tell Connor? I want to break it to him myself." He wasn't sure if Connor could take it any other way.

"Of course," his dad said. Troye sank down so that he was laying down, and stared at the ceiling. He heard the door close as his parents left.

"What am I going to do?" Troye whispered to himself. He sighed. He'd been smiling for their sake, but he was far from happy.

He was lying to Connor. He'd have to come clean.

"Troye," Zoe exclaimed, bouncing into the room. "We saw your family leave!"

Connor came in behind her, shutting the door. Troye forced a smile for them.

"Hey."

"We brought you coffee," Zoe said. "Wait, are you allowed to have coffee? Let me go check!"

"I only gave her one cup of coffee," Connor said, rolling his eyes

"She's probably just in a good mood," Troye said.

Connor nodded. For a second, the only noise in the room was the beeping of the machines connected to Troye.

"Tro?" Connor asked in a sad, scared voice.

"Yeah Con?"

"I heard the doctors talking. Is it true?"

"Is what true?" Troye's heart sank.

"That you don't remember." Troye's eyes widened. Connor was fidgeting, standing next to the bed.

He stood up, ignoring the wires and the IV, ignoring his body screaming in protest, ignoring common sense. He hugged Connor tightly.

"There are a lot of things I don't remember, Con." He heard Connor take a deep, shuddering breath. "But I remember us."

"Tro..."

"I remember one thing in particular."

"W.. What is it?" Troye could tell by the fear in Connor's voice that he was scared of what Troye was about to say.

"I remember that I love you," Troye said. He took a step back. He felt a little light headed. He was crying, Connor was too.

He wiped a tear from Connor's cheek.

"You aren't going to lose me. I'm going to be right here. Through all of this and everything to come."

Connor nodded and wrapped his arms around Troye's torso, burying his head in Troye's chest.

The movement and impact made Troye's head spin.

"Con... I need to sit down," Troye whispered.

"What?"

"I feel a bit light headed. I'm fine, but I need to sit down," he repeated.   

"Ri-right," Connor choked out. Troye fell back onto his bed, sitting down hard. The room stopped spinning.

"Sorry," Troye said quietly, "I wish I could have just held you and let you cry but I couldn't and I'm sorry," he continued.

"It's okay," Connor replied. "I get it."

"Come here." Troye patted the bed next to him. "Sit with me and I'll hold you. You don't need to hold it in for my sake."

Troye sang softly as Connor sat down next to him and leaned into his chest. He shifted the two of them so that he was propped up on his pillows, Connor sitting on top of him, his head resting on Troye's chest and Troye's hands playing with his hair and stroking his back. After a while, Connor spoke up.

"Tr-troye?"

"Yeah, Con?"

"Can I... can I kiss you? I know you don't really remember so I thought I'd ask even though you sometimes told me that I didn't have to ask."

_"Troye?"_

_"Yeah?" They were lying in Connor's bed, just over a week after they'd gotten together. They were facing each other, their hands clasped together in between them._

_"Can I kiss you?"_

_"We've been dating for a week or so, Con. We've already kissed. You don't have to ask," Troye replied._

_"But it reassures me, you know, that you want to kiss me. That this isn't all a dream or a lie or something." They had kept eye contact since they started talking, and Troye felt the intensity of Connor's eyes more than ever. Even in the barely lit bedroom, he could see all the emotions swirling there._

_"Of course I want to kiss you," Troye said. "Connor, this is like a dream to me as well. I'm not even sure how you fell in love with me. If it makes you feel better, then you can ask. But you don't have to, okay? If you just want to kiss me without warning, go right ahead."_

_"Thank you," Connor said. "Really. Thank you."_

_"Of course. Now I have a question for you."_

_"What's that?"_

_"Can_ I _kiss_ you?"

Troye smiled gently at Connor, whose tear-filled eyes were searching his for an answer.

"Of course," he said quietly, playing with a strand of Connor's hair. Connor smiled back and leaned forward. Troye felt his own pent-up tears start to spill over faster as Connor pressed his lips gently, tentatively, to Troye's.

His lips tasted salty from tears, his weight pressing down on Troye in a way that wasn't bad, but comforting, and Troye could feel his fast heartbeat where their chests were pressed together.

And it felt right, so right.

And so many things came flashing back to him, all at once.

_Sunsets and sand, wind and waves, stars and sea, smiles on the beach, kisses in the dark._

_Disney world and attending concerts and attending events._

_Artsy pictures and inside jokes._

_Coffee and nutella, lazy mornings._

_Sharing sweaters and secret snapchats._

_Capturing each other's light in photos._

_Smiles meant to draw out the same in the other._

_Late night conversations._

_Books and music._

_Sharing tears, sharing laughter, sharing everything._

_Dinners and formal dates, dances at bars and being pressed together on one side of a booth._

_Laughing with friends and laughing with each other._

_Dreams and cuddles, movie marathons and takeout._

_Singing songs meant for each other._

_Long walks in the park and being alone together._

_Their first time, their last time, and every time in between._

_Saying things for only each other to hear, watching the sky from the top of a hill._

_Flowers and camera film from Connor's old-fashioned camera._

_Falling in love over and over again on each date._

_Falling in love each moment he spent with Connor Franta._

Troye smiled into the kiss, reaching up to pull Connor in closer, to show that he was happy with what was happening. He remembered so much about him and Connor. And he loved Connor more than ever.

"Con," he whispered quietly as Connor pulled away. "I think I remember all of us."


	4. 4

"What does that mean?"  
"It means that I remember us. Connor, I remembered so much it's a little overwhelming, honestly. I kind of just want to go to sleep right now." Troye looked down the bed at his feet, avoiding eye contact with Connor.   
He wasn't confused by his feelings, that was for sure. He was 100% confident that he was in love with Connor. But he was also so full of raw emotion that he was scared of what would happen when he lost control. He didn't want to fully break down with Connor in the room. He didn't want Connor to think he was weak, even though he knew Connor would love him all the same.  
"Of course, Troye," Connor said. "I'll go then?"  
"No," Troye whispered. "Just stay here with me."  
"Sure," Connor said, trying to sit up. Troye didn't let him, pulling him closer.  
"Stay in bed with me."  
"We'll get in trouble, Tro."  
"I don't care, Con. Pleaseeee?"  
"Who could say no to you, Tro?" The two of them shifted so that they were lying side by side. "I love you."  
"I love you too, Con."  
"Night."

**  
 _Connor had taken Troye to the top of a hill in a park. Troye wasn't sure how he'd found the place, but he wasn't complaining. They'd arrived when the sun was still high in the sky, hanging around and playing on the deserted hilltop. There were a few trees to provide shade around the perimeter, but the top of the hill was bare._  
 _They'd watched the sunset on a picnic blanket after eating dinner._  
 _The stars had come out, the sight leaving Troye amazed. From the hilltop, there was minimal light pollution. They could see thousands and thousands of stars._  
 _He turned to Connor, his eyes wide as he gestured to the sky, when he noticed Connor watching him. Only him._  
 _"Con, the sky's so pretty. Why are you looking at me?"_  
 _"Would it be cliche to say it's because you're beautiful?" Connor asked._  
 _"Yes, but I wouldn't protest," Troye replied, pressing closer to Connor. "I love you, you know."_  
 _"I love you too," Connor replied, smiling in the starlight. They lay there, looking at each other and at the sky until Troye began to get tired._  
 _"We should just stay here," Troye said. "Sleep here, under the stars."_  
 _"We'll get in trouble, Tro."_  
 _"I don't care, Con. So what if we get in trouble? I'll have spent the night under the stars with you. You're worth any amount of trouble."_  
 _"I don't know, Tro."_  
 _"Please?"_  
 _"I can't say no," Connor said. "But it's your job to keep me warm, then."_  
 _"Gladly," Troye said happily, cuddling close to Connor and wrapping his arms and legs around the shorter boy. Connor nuzzled into Troye's chest._  
 _And there, under the thousands of stars, they slept._  
 _**_

Troye woke up to the sunlight streaming through the window. Connor was no longer in his arms, instead he was sitting in the chair, his head settled on his arms by Troye's bed, still asleep.  
Troye felt a little disappointed that he'd moved. As he sat up, he noticed the nurse from earlier moving around by some of the machines in the room.  
"Hello?" Troye said tentatively.  
"Oh, Mr. Mellet. We had to ask Mr. Franta to move last night. It's not safe for two people to share the bed, especially with the I.V. in your arm."  
"Right," Troye said.  
"Your parents are going to be here around 10, to be here when we start running the tests."  
"What time is it, if I may ask," Troye said politely.  
"It's 8," she said with a smile.  
"Thank you," he said. She finished whatever she was doing and left. He turned to Connor and gently woke him up.  
"Con? It's morning. We should upload my video today."  
"Huh?" Connor woke up, raising his head from his arms. Troye smiled a little at the creases in his face from his sweater sleeves.  
"It's morning, Con. Rise and shine."  
"Where'd Zoe even go last night," Connor muttered.  
"What?" Troye asked.  
"She was going to ask about coffee," Connor said. He still seemed out of it from sleep. Troye smiled, a little guilty. He must not have been sleeping properly when Troye was unconscious.  
"Do you want some coffee, Con da Bon?" Troye asked.  
"Yesssss," Connor said.   
"You have to go get it yourself, or text Zoe about it, though," Troye said.  
"Then I'm going to go back to sleep," Connor replied.  
"No you don't," Troye said. He tried to keep Connor's head up, but failed as Connor curled back up in the chair.  
The door slid open, revealing Zoe holding two cups of coffee.  
"Troye! I didn't expect for you to be up," Zoe remarked.  
"Well I mean, this one sure isn't," Troye said, gesturing to Connor.  
"When I came back last night, you two were asleep. It was kind of adorable," Zoe said with a smile. She put the coffees down on the table and shook Connor's shoulder.  
"Con? I brought coffee."  
"Ugh," Connor groaned. He sat up properly, reaching for one of the cups on the table.  
"It was a no-go for you, Tro, sorry."  
"It's cool, Zo," Troye replied. They chatted for a while while Connor 'woke up' with his coffee.  
An hour later, Zoe had to go and Connor was considerably more awake.  
"Alfie flies in today. That was always the plan," she explained. "But he's staying at a house-type place with Joe, Caspar, and Marcus. Could I stay with you, Con? At least until Vidcon?"  
"Of course Zoe," Connor said. They waved after her as she left.   
"The nurse told me you got in trouble. I'm sorry, Con."  
"It's okay," Connor said. Troye smiled at him.   
"I think I said it when you were still waking up. We should upload that video today."  
"Right," Connor said. "You know, we don't really need to edit it, other than put your end screen in and stuff."  
"Hey, that's your job for today," Troye said. "Is my computer back home or?"  
"Nope, it's right here. I already added the end screen. We just need to post it."  
"Cool. I'll have to tweet to give people a heads up, right?" Troye asked, remembering Zoe's explanation.  
"You should," Connor replied. "I'll set up the video. You just watch to see how it's done." He took another sip of his coffee.   
"Thanks Con. I don't know what I'd do without you."  
"It's no problem, Tro. And your phone is here. I was holding onto it for you." Connor held out the phone and Troye took it carefully. Something occurred to him, taking all the joy out of his morning.   
"I don't know the password," he said quietly, staring at his phone. He almost felt like crying, over such a little thing. It was because of everything else that had happened since he woke up, not solely because of the phone. Connor nodded.  
"I thought you might not, so there's no password on it right now. You can add whatever you want as the password."  
"Connor?"  
"Yeah?"  
"What's today's date?"  
"It's July 15, why?"   
"Because I thought maybe I could make yesterday's date the password," Troye said. "You know, since it was the day I woke up after all."  
"You could do that," Connor said.   
"So 0714, right?" Troye asked. Connor nodded and he changed the password. "We have an hour. Is that enough time?"  
"I think, yeah," Connor said. Troye focused on reading through his old tweets to try to see how he addressed his fans in the past.   
He finally decided on a tweet.   
_@troyesivan: Hey little nuggets. I owe you guys an explanation. I'm fine, don't worry xx. New video to come_.   
"Should I tweet this?" Troye asked Connor.  
Connor read the tweet and nodded. "I'll tweet after your video goes live."  
Troye nodded and took a deep breath, hitting the tweet button on his phone carefully.


	5. 5

The influx of replies was immediate. So many people were asking if he was okay, saying they loved him. He was a little overwhelmed, actually.

"That always happens," Connor said, glancing at the growing number of replies. "I guess you wouldn't he used to it."

"Right," Troye replied, staring at the Twitter app.

"The videos uploading now," Connor said, turning the laptop to face Troye. "It should be up by 9:45."

It was 9:30. "Do they generally take this long to upload?"

"On shitty hospital wifi? Yes. On wifi at home, no," Connor said.

"That makes sense."

"I should tweet something while we wait," Connor said. "Since the video won't be live for a while."

"What are you going to say?"

"That I'm okay, basically," Connor said.

"Your video explains where I've been anyway."

"Right."Connor tapped away on his phone, and after a few seconds Troye's own phone buzzed.

_@connorfranta: Guys, I'm okay. So sorry for the short hiatus. Will hopefully be back for another Frantastic Monday next week._

"Frantastic?" Troye asked with a smile.

"You don't get to judge my upload schedule, Sivan," Connor said.

Troye tilted his head to the side.

"Right, you still don't remember everything. You used to upload very irregularly."

"I did?"

"You were literally always in the studio, so you rarely had time to film and edit," Connor said. "And when you did have time, I'm guilty for stealing you away."

"So it's a joke among us and the fans?" Troye asked, noting a few comments about him uploading.

"Yeah, basically," Connor said.

Troye nodded.

"Con?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for helping me. Really, I'd be so lost without you right now."

"Of course, Tro. It's the least I can do for the best boyfriend ever."

Troye felt himself blush at Connor's comment, smiling.

"Why are a few people screaming "tronnor" in the comments?"Troye asked after scrolling through a few more comments.

"Tronnor was our ship name. Basically, it was the name fans gave to our relationship."

"Oh, I did remember telling Zoe that Tronnor was canon. I thought we weren't out on the internet, though?"

"You underestimate the fangirls," Connor said with a smile. "They'll ship anything."

"They will?"

"Yeah," Connor replied. "And the videos ready whenever you are."

"How am I going to do this?" Troye asked. "I recommend pulling up Twitter on your laptop and tweeting the link. That's generally what we do."

"Okay," Troye said. "Will you help me?"

"Please tell me you didn't forget how to use a computer, Sivan."

"No but I forgot how to be a youtuber."

"Fair point. Here. What do you want to say?"

"Something thanking them for understanding and stuff," Troye said. "Something like this?" Connor asked, turning the computer to Troye.

_@troyesivan: New video is live! I give you an explanation of why I've been gone lately. Thanks for understanding, guys._

Then Connor had put in the link to the video.

Troye nodded. "That sounds good. Better than I could do," he said honestly. Connor smiled.

"I'll retweet it," Connor said.

"That's your job," Troye replied.

"You know what else is my job?"

"What?" Troye asked, watching Connor questioningly.

"Kissing you," Connor said. Troye giggled a little and leaned in to kiss Connor.

"We should check out the comments on your new video," Connor said.

"Can we not? I don't want to see whey people say," Troye said.

"It won't be anything bad," Connor replied. "But if you don't want to we won't."

"Thanks, Con," Troye said with a smile. They chatted until the doctor showed up with Troye's parents, and Connor said he'd be back tomorrow.

Troye wasn't overjoyed with the development, but he would deal with it.

He knew he had Connor by his side through all of this, even if it wasn't physically.

 

**Friday (so two days after the video went live)**

 

"I brought your clothes, Tro," Connor said, tossing the bag by the bottom of the bed and kissing Troye's cheek.

"I'm finally coming home, huh?" Troye asked.

The past two days had been wonderful. Connor had started bringing things and showing him videos that helped him remember things.

He was pretty confident that he remembered the majority of the things he had forgotten.

Except Tyler. Connor had avoided that topic like the plague.

Troye didn't blame him, though. He knew that Tyler used to be a sensitive subject for him.

His family were going home on Saturday after a lot of convincing from Troye. He didn't want them to miss more at home than they already had.

Zoe and Connor had decided to plan Troye a party on Saturday night, inviting a bunch of youtubers to dinner and then to a local bar to celebrate.

The dinner group, they'd decided, would be smaller.

Troye, Zoe, and Connor had decided to invite Hannah, Grace, Mamrie, Alfie, Caspar, Joe, Marcus, and Louise.

The British youtubers had flown in for vidcon early. The group were, according to Connor, among the closest to Troye. But they'd also decided on that assortment because Troye was worried about seeing the "bullies" from his dream again.

He knew logically that they wouldn't hurt him, but he wasn't sure how he'd react. He figured seeing them earlier than everyone else would give him some time to adjust to them.

Then there was the party, with the 11 of them plus a bunch more.

Troye had said to invite any youtuber that was in LA, any of his friends or acquaintances that he had forgotten.

Connor and Zoe were reluctant to invite Korey, because of his closeness with Tyler, but Troye insisted, and they finally gave in.

"I'm going to get dressed, then," Troye said.

Connor nodded. "Do you still get light-headed when you stand up?"

"Sometimes, but the doctors said that it wasn't anything to worry about," Troye explained.

Connor offered a hand to help him stand, which he took gratefully.

Once Troye had changed and gathered his things, he paused.

"Should I tweet something about getting out of the hospital?" Troye asked Connor.

He was getting better at using social media and remembered most everything, but he was still unsure about what to post.

"Probably," Connor said. Troye nodded.

"I thought so," he said, pulling out his phone.

_@troyesivan: Going home today. Thanks for all the support, lovelies x_

Connor nodded as Troye showed him the tweet.

"That sounds right. But I don't get why you still show me them, you said you remember almost everything."

"Because what if I sound different and they figure it out?" Troye asked. "I'll stop if it bugs you, though."

"No, it's fine," Connor replied with a smile. He put an arm around Troye's waist.

Troye draped his arm over Connors shoulder, letting Connor carry his bag.

"You ready, Tro?"

"Yeah," Troye said.

"Your parents are waiting downstairs, your siblings and Zoe at my place. You going to be up for a little bit of a 'welcome home Troye' celebration? They wanted it to be a surprise, but I don't want you to force yourself too much."

Troye smiled. "I'll be fine, Con," he said, leaning his head into Connors shoulder. "Let's go."

"Then come along, Sivan."

They made their way to the elevator, taking their time so that they could walk with their arms around each other. Troye was glad for Connor's support, not just physically.

Emotionally, too, he'd be a wreck without Connor. He honestly couldn't imagine what would have happened if Connor hadn't been helping him through everything.

Troye checked out and Connor led him to the parking garage, where his parents were waiting in Connor's car.

"Troye!" Troye's mother exclaimed, waving him and Connor over. Connor separated from Troye's side to go put the bag in the trunk.

Troye gave his mom and dad a hug, smiling as he and Connor slid into the backseat.

"It's good to have you back, son," his dad said from the driver's seat.


	6. 6

"It's good to be out of there," he said with a smile. Connor giggled a little from next to him.

"You find that funny?" Troye asked, raising an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

"It's good to be out," Connor giggled. Troye shook his head in amusement.

"I swear you're a four year old sometimes, Con," Troye said. He saw his parents grinning at them in the rearview mirror and stuck his tongue out a little, smiling back at them. Connor snuggled into Troye's shoulder and Troye closed his eyes. He was so content to just lean against Connor.

After a while, the car came to a stop. "We're here, boys," Troye's mother said. Troye sat up slowly, trying to ignore the headache he had. He hoped those would go away soon. They were certainly annoying. He rubbed his forehead a little to see if it would clear away the headache.

It didn't.

"Headache?" Connor asked from next to him. Troye nodded. His parents had gotten out of the car, he heard his dad grabbing his bag. The sound of the trunk closing made him wince. 

He had really wanted to enjoy the little celebration Connor said people had planned.

"Wait here," Connor said. He got out of the car, closing the door quietly. Troye leaned his head back against the seat. Hitting your head hard had consequences, he had learned. Headaches and dizziness were certainly not fun.

He heard the door open and moved to get out of the car with a sigh, but gasped in surprise as Connor scooped him up into his arms.

"I'll bring you to bed," he said. "And you can come and celebrate with people once you feel a little better."

"But if they set up for me I should appreciate it," Troye protested weakly. 

"They'll understand if you don't feel good, Troye. Don't push yourself," Connor said. Troye sighed in defeat.

"Wake me up in an hour, though," he said, closing his eyes and trying to relax with the pounding in his head.

"Yes, Tro," Connor said. There was an awkward moment as Connor tried to open the door, balancing Troye on his knee. 

Troye curled back against Connor's chest as the people inside exclaimed "welcome back Troye!" They were too loud.

"Shhh guys, Tro has a headache," Connor said. A few seconds later he felt Connor laying him down onto his bed. The cool sheets were comforting.

"Get some sleep, Troye. I'll wake you up in an hour with some asprin for that headache," Connor said. Troye felt him kiss his forehead.

"Thanks Con," he whispered. Somehow he managed to drift off to sleep despite the pounding in his head.

"Tro, I have asprin," he heard Connor's gentle voice. His head hurt a little still but much less.

"Thanks," he groaned, sitting up and taking the pills and glass of water Connor had extended to him. 

"If you're still up for it, everyone's still here," Connor said as Troye took the asprin. Troye nodded.

"I should be good now. I just need one thing."

"What's that?"

"A kiss," he said with a smile.

"You little idiot," Connor said, leaning in and pecking Troye's lips. Troye shook his head.

"You love me, and that was not a kiss. Come here." He pulled Connor's arm towards him, underestimating the power he put into it and causing Connor to topple onto him. 

"Are you okay?" Connor asked, worry in his voice. Troye just giggled and pulled Connor closer to him, kissing him. He teased Connor a little, pressing close to him and smirking as he felt Connor gasp a little. He kissed Connor's neck, running his tongue over one of the spots he knew Connor was most sensitive in. He pulled away suddenly, smiling.

"I'm more than okay, Con," Troye said happily. "Now we should go appreciate everyone's hard work in setting up a party for me."

"Troye you can't just do that," Connor protested as Troye got up. Troye just grinned.

"Says who?"

"Says me," Connor grumbled, standing up and putting his arm around Troye. "I'm getting you back for that later, Sivan."

"Sure, Franta," Troye said with a smirk. They walked out to the main room of Connor's house. Everyone looked up as they entered.

"Troye!" Suddenly there was a very excited Zoe clinging to him. She hadn't been able to visit him as much, since she had been planning the party and working on stuff. "I'm so glad you're back."

"I am too, Zo," he said with a smile as she let go, quickly being replaced by Sage. 

"Tro," Sage whispered to him. He could hear the quiver in her voice.

"I'm okay, Sage," he replied, rubbing her back a little. He hugged Steele and Tyde, then his parents.

"We'll let you kids celebrate," his mother said. He nodded.

"Are you guys leaving, then?" Troye asked.

"You're coming to the airport tomorrow, though, to see us off, right, Troye?" Troye's dad asked.

"Of course," Troye said. "Love you guys."

"Love you too. Kids, don't stay here too late, let Troye and Connor have their time," his mom said. Tyde, Sage, and Steele chorused a 'we know,' before waving their parents out the door.

2 hours later they were lounging casually in the living room, Troye seated on Connor's lap with the older rubbing patterns along his sides. Zoe was laying out on the couch next to them, her feet on a slightly annoyed Sage. Tyde and Steele had elected to sit in chairs across from the couch, laughing as Zoe and Sage bickered about Zoe's position. At some point, someone had put on music in the background, but Troye didn't know who. 

"We should head back to the hotel, we need to pack for our flight. It's early in the morning," Steele said suddenly. 

"Can't we chill for a while longer, Steele?" Tyde asked. Steele, being the oldest and thus the most responsible of the Mellet siblings, shook his head. 

"Your stuff is literally everywhere, Tyde. If anything, Sage and I could stay. You're going back now, I'm not missing this flight because of you." Troye giggled at Steele's comment. 

"What time even is it?" Zoe asked, looking at Troye upside down with a smile. Her position made him giggle harder, she was laying out with her head bent back so that she could see him and Connor. 

"Let me up, miss stinky feet," Sage said, pushing Zoe around. Troye leaned further back into Connor as Zoe fell off the couch in a mess of waving limbs. 

"I'll drive you guys there," she said from her new position on the floor. "And give these lovebirds some time." She was up again then, wiping herself off and ushering Troye's siblings outside with a wink in the direction of Troye and Connor cuddling on the couch. As the door closed, Troye tilted his head back to see Connor.

"Hey there, Sivan," Connor said with a smile.

"Hi, Franta," he replied. He tried to kiss Connor in their upside down position, but couldn't tilt his head far enough back.

"Trying to kiss me there, Tro?" Connor asked. Troye pouted a little, making a slight 'humph' in reply. He moved to turn around, but Connor used one hand to still his chin and leaned over him. The awkward kiss made Troye collapse into giggles. They were both laughing then, Troye being set off laughing again when he fell back on Connor's chest and was bounced forward with the force of Connor's laughs.

He spun around without warning, straddling Connor's waist on his knees and wrapping his arms around his neck.

"Hey," he said breathlessly, pressing their foreheads together. 

"Hey," Connor replied, meeting Troye's eyes. His hands moved to Troye's waist. They both remained still for a second, before leaning together and kissing each other. 

"Zoe won't be back for a while," Connor said when they pulled apart slightly.

"Are you suggesting..." Troye asked. He had no problem with it, but Zoe walking in on them would be awkward.

"Unless you don't want to," Connor said. Troye wrapped his legs around Connor and Connor stood up, carrying him to the bedroom.

"I want to," Troye whispered into Connor's ear.

"I swear, I spoil you," Connor said when he lay Troye down onto the bed.

"I love it," Troye replied.

"I love you," Connor said.

 


	7. 7

The next morning

 

They had gone to sleep at only 9, right after Zoe got back home. They had to wake up at 5 to pick up Troye's family and go to the airport, and Troye was exhausted.

"Up you get, boys!" Zoe exclaimed cheerfully, flipping on the light in Connor's room.

"No," Troye groaned. "It's early."

"And you promised your family you'd see them off. Come on, up up up. There's coffee in the kitchen." Then she was gone, hurrying off to the kitchen, leaving the light on.

"How is she even awake?" Connor asked Troye.

"I don't know. I want to stay in bed but we have to get up," he replied. It took a while, but he finally managed to get out of bed and get dressed. Again he felt a little light headed. The doctors had said it'd be up to a few weeks before those stopped.

"I've got coffee and breakfast in here," Zoe called from the kitchen.

"Why is she so chipper this morning?" Connor asked.

"It's almost like she knows something we don't know or something," Troye replied. Connor just shrugged.

"I'm not turning down coffee," he said. He threw an arm around Troye's shoulder and the two of them made their way to the kitchen. Zoe had, just as promised, three cups of coffee laid out alongside toast for each of them.

"Thanks, Zoe," Troye said as they sat down.

"Yeah, thanks Zo," Connor added.

"You're welcome boys. You'll need some energy after last night," Zoe said with a wink. Troye froze with a piece of toast almost to his mouth and Connor practically choked on his coffee.

"Last night?" Troye asked once he recovered.

"I could hear you guys going at it," Zoe said simply, taking another sip of her own coffee and barely glancing up from her phone.

Troye and Connor stared at her, unsure if she was joking or not. She glanced up at them when they didn't reply.

"I think it was... hmmm..." Zoe said. "Ah yes. It was 'Tro! Please, Tro!' or something along those lines," Zoe said, mimicking Connor. Troye couldn't help a chuckle at Zoe's comment, causing Connor to shoot him a look. The older boy's face was bright read as he looked between Zoe and Troye.

"You guys just love picking on me, don't you," Connor groaned.

"Zoe, it seriously alarms me how nonchalant you are about gay sex," Troye said.

Zoe just shrugged and cleaned her dishes. "We're leaving in 10," she said. Then she was gone into the guest room, or her room, leaving Troye and Connor sitting at the table alone.

The rest of the morning was uneventful, after they dropped Troye's family off at the airport they returned to Connor's to chill until the party. After lunch they all spent a little bit of time on social media.

"Well," Zoe said after they'd been sitting around for a while. "We might have a problem."

"How so?" Troye asked.

"We sent an open invite to a bunch of people who are going to be at vidcon, you know, as a party for you. We asked for RSVPs, but I think..." Zoe trailed off, looking down.

"What is it?" Troye asked. He glanced between the two of them, Connor sitting on the couch next to him and Zoe sitting in a chair nearby.

"Korey just asked if he could change his RSVP to 2. We're not sure but we think..." Connor added.

"Tyler."

"To put it simply, yes. Since we told our friends about your memory, we think he found out," Zoe explained.

"He's trying to get me back?"

"As a friend, probably."

"We can't just un-invite him," Troye said. "That would be against the open invite. Plus, a lot of our friends are still friends with him, right?"

"Yeah." Connor glanced at his lap as Zoe answered.

"Then we'll have to let him come."

"What?! There's no way-" Connor exclaimed, jumping up. Troye reached up and put a hand on his shoulder, pulling him back down and trying to calm him.

"Connor," Troye said. "Don't worry. He won't steal me away from you. I don't remember him. I love you. If he tries anything, I'll remind him I have you."

"But Troye..." Connor said. "You remember things by experiencing them or by meeting people. I don't want you to have to go through that again. You were really hurt by what happened," Connor said. Troye felt a lump in his throat.

"Thanks, Con, for worrying about me and looking out for me. But I think I'll be okay. I have you and Zoe and all my friends, after all."

"So you think we should let Tyler come?" Zoe asked.

"Yes. Even though he's hurt me in the past, uninviting him would cause unwanted drama. Plus, we don't even know if he's Korey's other invitee. It could be someone else."

"That's hoping, Tro," Zoe said. "And Tyler is Korey's best friend. There's little doubt in my mind." Troye shot her a look. His goal had been to reassure Connor, not to bring up a real point. She seemed to realize what happened, her eyes widening. She mouthed 'sorry' to him. He rubbed Connor's back gently.

"Con, if it'll help we can stick together all night."

"We can't just cancel the party if he has to come?"

"It's in three hours. We can't cancel it now, I'm sorry," Troye said.

"You'll stay with me, though?" Connor asked.

"If it'll make you feel better, of course," Troye smiled at Connor. "You won't be able to get rid of me."

"Thanks, Tro," Connor said. Troye leaned over and kissed Connor gently in response.

"I need to get ready," Zoe interrupted. "And you two need to get a room."

"Zoe!" Troye exclaimed. Connor giggled a little, causing Troye to smile at him fondly. Zoe found Troye's face funny, and burst out laughing, too. Pretty soon, all three of them were clutching their sides.

"Now I really need to get ready, you little idiots," Zoe said. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Okay," Troye said.

"I'm stealing your bathroom, Connor, it's much bigger than the guest room one," Zoe said as she left.

"Fine," Connor said. Troye stood up, heading to the kitchen. He grimaced a little as his head spun. Hopefully those would stop soon.

After they got ready, they hurried to meet their friends for dinner. Dinner went really well, and so did the beginning of the party.

They'd been hanging around for like an hour when Troye decided that they should leave the dance floor, as his head was hurting a little.

"I'm going to go to the restroom," Connor said.

"Do you want me to go with you, since I promised I'd stick to you?" Troye offered.

"No, I'm good. We haven't run into Tyler yet, after all."

Troye wasn't about to tell Connor that he'd seen Tyler across the dance floor.

"See you, then," Troye said, pecking Connor's cheek. Connor nodded and headed off. Troye was suddenly glad they'd chosen a public bar over a private venue. He could blend into the crowd and avoid Tyler that way.

"You two are going to make my heart melt," Hannah said, appearing suddenly from the crowd to his left. She had said she wasn't drinking that night, but she was still high energy.

"Th-thanks, Hannah," Troye said, a little surprised by her sudden appearance.

"Come on, you haven't danced all night, join us!" Hannah gestured to the large group of Troye's friends dancing together.

"I think I'll pass, I still feel a little dizzy," Troye said.

"Okay," Hannah replied with a shrug. "Join us later, though, when you have your boyfriend to lean on." Then she was gone. Troye smiled a little at her comment. He turned to find a seat, but she was startled by a voice calling his name.

"Troye!"

"Yes?" He turned around, coming face to face with the last person he wanted to see.

Tyler. Of course.

 

_**_

 

_"Babe, you promised we'd hang out," the unknown man said to Tyler. Troye ducked behind a group of people, trying to listen in on their conversation._

_"I know I did, but my boyfriend asked to hang out," Tyler replied. Troye breathed a sigh of relief, glad that Tyler wasn't cheating. He was probably just naturally letting his flirty personality through._

_"When are you going to break up with that stupid little kid?" Ouch. That hurt._

_"Troye's not stupid. He's a great person," Tyler said. Troye smiled. "Just not the best boyfriend."_

_Ouch. Troye immediately frowned._

_"You've been saying you'll do it soon since we got together two months ago."_

_Two months? Two fucking months? Tyler had been cheating on him for two months. What made Troye angry wasn't losing Tyler, it was the lying. They'd always been clear that it might not work, always been clear that it'd been just to try._

_Being lied to hurt like a bitch._

_"I'll break up with him next time I see him, babe. But he is a great friend. I have to let him down carefully."_

_They'd always said it was just a trial, but a trial turned to a year. Troye was upset, sure, he was about to lose Tyler, but he was more upset about being cheated on. It would have been different if, two months ago, Tyler had come forward and told the truth._

_He saw Tyler kiss the mystery man._

_Last straw._

_He was so mad at Tyler because he was being lied to, so sad over losing him._

_"You won't need to break up with me," he said, ducking into Tyler's line of vision. "We're done. Have a nice life." He saw Tyler's eyes widen._

_"Tro, wait," Tyler said, stepping towards him._

_He ran off, trying to outrun the pain Tyler had caused._

_**_

 

"What do you want?" Troye snapped, trying to hold back tears.

"Is it true you don't remember anything?" Tyler asked.

"What is it to you?"

Tyler sighed.

"I fucked up once. And that cost me you. If you don't remember... even if you do remember... could you give me another chance?"

"You lied to me for 2 months. You broke my heart."

"I was stupid Troye. I thought that I could just live both lives. I didn't want to lose you, and that cost me us."

"You cheated on me."

"And I don't deserve a second chance at your heart. But maybe we could try being friends again? After I screwed up, I couldn't get in contact with you. I wanted to apologize. I'm so sorry," Tyler said.

Troye sighed.

"I'm not doing this here, not on the night I watched Zoe and Connor plan so carefully for me. Starbucks, the one by Connor's, at noon tomorrow. It'll be your only chance."

Tyler's eyes widened. "Thank you. Oh my god, Troye, thank you."

"Not a word of this to anyone, okay? They're all worried about me and I don't want to worry them more until we work this," he gestured between them, "out."

"Thank you so much, Troye. You've got a great boyfriend. I'm really glad you moved on."

"Maybe we'll still be friends," Troye replied. "I'll see you, then?"

"Bye, Troye."

"Bye, Tyler." He watched Tyler walk away. He had apologized. Maybe they could be friends again.

He sat down at a table, watching his friends have fun. He was glad he remembered most of the things about them.

He spotted Connor leaving the bathroom and waved him over.

Connor spotted someone in the crowd.

"Tyler's here," he breathed, his features darkening.

"Relax Con, we'll just avoid him," Troye reassured him.

Connor nodded, but his mood had changed.

"We can go if you want. I'm tired anyway," Troye said.

"If you're okay with it," Connor said.

"Of course. I'm going to tell everyone I'm heading out and say goodbyes. Meet you up front in 20." He left before Connor could argue.

He said goodbye to everyone except Tyler and Korey, who had disappeared.

He needed to talk to Zoe.

"Zo? Can I talk to you outside real quick?"

"Sure, what's up?" They made their way outside.

"Don't freak out?"

"I won't," Zoe assured him.

"Tyler was here. He talked to me, tried to apologize. I didn't want to deal with it tonight, so I kind of agreed to meet him tomorrow. But..."

"You need me to cover for you," Zoe said, crossing her arms.

"Kind of, yeah. I swear all we're going to do is be friends again, he even said it himself."

"I don't like going behind Connor's back.  But this time, I'll make an exception provided I get to be there."

"Sure, but why's that?"

"Because even though I don't think you would, there's no way I'd help you cheat on Connor."

"I'd never cheat on Con," Troye said. "If it helps, of course I'll let you come."

"Thanks Tro," Zoe said. "I still don't like it, though."

"I know. I don't either. But I don't want to worry him. It's just until we figure things out."

"You owe me one."

"I know, thanks. I've got to go meet Con. We're heading home."

"See you, then," Zoe said.

"Bye, Zo."

"Bye, Tro."

He hurried towards the entrance.

He stopped short.

Connor was standing at the entrance, looking less than pleased.

"Why?"

"I didn't want you to worry, Con," Troye said. "You would have. I'll swear. I'll swear by anything you want me to swear, that all I'm trying to do with Tyler is make peace. We'll only ever be friends again." He searched Connor's eyes, begging, pleading, for Connor to believe him.

"I'd say swear by your love for me, but obviously that's not as strong as I thought."

"No!" Troye exclaimed. "I love you Connor, with all my heart," he said more quietly.

"Then, why!?" Connor exclaimed. "Why Troye, why would you go behind my back?" Connor was angry, making Troye step back a little.

"Because I didn't want you to have to worry until I worked it out with him," Troye replied. He didn't raise his voice. He knew there was no point in raising his voice.

"And after? You could have just told me."

"Con, I'm sorry," Troye said. He stepped closer, reaching for Connor's shoulder. "Please believe me. I'm sorry. I realize now that I was doing the wrong thing. It hurt you. Can you forgive me?"

"I think..." Connor said. "I think I can. But Zoe has to go when you meet him. And I think..." Connor paused.

"Zoe would come, of course," Troye said. "All I'm trying to do is make things right with an old friend of mine."

"And I think," Connor continued, ignoring Troye. "You should spend the night at Hannah's."

Troye blinked back tears.

"B-but I-"

"I'm not mad. Well, actually I am mad but don't worry. I just need a night to cool down."

"Con... I'm sorry," Troye whispered.

"I know," Connor replied simply. "Zoe, can you stay with Troye at Hannah's? I'm counting on you to deal with stuff."

Troye ignored the further conversation. He took off inside, searching for Hannah. She was with Grace and Mamrie.

He wasn't letting himself think, was only trying not to cry.

"Hannah?" Troye choked out.

"What's up?"

"Can I... well.. Zoe and I..." he couldn't say it, couldn't ask the question.

He couldn't hold it back, all the tears spilling over.

It didn't fucking matter if he broke down in front of everyone anymore. He'd screwed up big time.

"Troye?" Hannah asked, waving Mamrie and Grace away, leading Troye outside. "What's wrong, hun?"

"I fucked up," he sobbed. "Zoe... Connor... Tyler..." he broke down harder.

"Okay, Tro. I'm going to take you back to my place, is that okay?"

"Zoe," he managed. "Get Zoe."

"I'll get Zoe once I get you in my car." Hannah grabbed his shoulder, murmuring something about how she didn't drink tonight for a reason. She lead him to the passenger seat.

He couldn't stop crying. He'd been awake and back with Connor for less than a week and he'd fucked everything up.

_I'm not mad. Well, actually I am mad but don't worry. I just need a night to cool down._

"I'll be right back," Hannah said gently.

He had to do something. After he met Tyler tomorrow, he had to do something for Connor.

He saw Hannah and Zoe come outside the bar.

Zoe started explaining something to Hannah, and her posture changed. She turned to go back inside but Zoe caught her arm. The two of them walked to the car. Troye had curled up in the passenger seat, so Zoe slid into the back while Hannah got behind the wheel.

Hannah started the car, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'I'm going to fucking kill Tyler and Connor.' It almost made Troye smile, it was nice to know he had people like Hannah looking out for him. But a smile seemed impossible.

"How does some hot chocolate sound? I make the best," Hannah offered.

He tried to give her a smile that didn't look like a grimace.

"I don't think I could stomach that," he said.

"Tea then?"

"That sounds amazing," he replied honestly. "Do you mind if I go to sleep on the way there?"

"Go ahead," Hannah said.

He closed his eyes and thought about what to do to get Connor back.

He'd bring him to the hill, the one where they once spent the night. He'd set up a blanket and pillows and dress up and apologize as much as he could, do everything to get him back.

Because Connor had done so much for him and he hadn't properly thanked him.

"Troye, we're here," he heard Hannah whisper. Zoe was standing outside the car.

"Okay," he said, forcing himself up but forgetting his seatbelt. He was pulled back hard against the seat.

"Woah there," Hannah said. She undid his seatbelt for him and Zoe helped him out of the car. He felt off without Connor, because Connor had been by his side practically since he'd woken up. Connor was the thing he remembered first, the thing that, despite everything, he understood the most and could trust the most.

Connor was possibly gone.

"Do you need anything, Troye?" Zoe asked as they walked down the hallway to Hannah's guest room, where she was letting Troye sleep.

She should have guessed that what he needed was Connor. He knew that it was a little irrational to be worked up over a little argument. But it was their first real argument.

And he could have prevented it.

"No," he managed quietly.

Soon after Zoe left, Hannah showed up with tea and bid him goodnight.

Once she was gone, he pulled out his phone.

Sunset was at 6:50. He'd pick Connor up at 5:30. That would give them time.

Throwing himself into the planning Connor's surprise took his mind off his feelings. But it wasn't enough. He had to write lyrics. It was his way of coping before the accident. So he fumbled around in Hannah's drawers until he found a pen and paper. And then he wrote and wrote and wrote.

 

_You're so pretty when you're mad._


	8. 8

 

"Hannah?" Troye asked in the morning, when the two of them were eating breakfast, Zoe still in her room getting ready or sleeping, Troye wasn't sure.

"Yeah?"

"Can I borrow your car and some blankets and stuff today?"

"Sure, why?"

"I have something planned."

Hannah raised an eyebrow at him.

"Just roll with it, Hannah," he said.

He pulled out his phone to check twitter. He bit his lip at Connor's tweets from the previous night.

_@connorfranta: It hurts like a bitch when someone goes behind your back and lies to you._

_@connorfranta: You get so mad at them._

_@connorfranta: But if you love them, you just end up wanting them back._

Troye felt new tears stinging his eyes. He felt so guilty.

_@connorfranta: Please come back._

As Troye kept scrolling through his timeline, trying not to cry again, he saw two tweets from Ricky, who was Connor's best friend.

_@RickyPDillon: Guys don't worry, I'm going to check on @connorfranta right now._

Troye would have to thank Ricky for that.

_@RickyPDillon: Okay, @connorfranta is fine don't worry guys._

Troye decided he would need to say something, even indirectly, to let Connor know he was still there.

_@troyesivan: Nothing good comes from giving up on someone. If you just wait a while, they might make it up to you._

He ignored all of the Tronnor fangirls on Twitter and checked the time.

11:00. He had an hour before he was going to meet Tyler.

Hannah's house was maybe 15 minutes away from the starbucks, but with traffic it would be more like 30. Zoe emerged into the kitchen, fully dressed in what looked to be some of Hannah's clothes, and started pouring herself a coffee.

"We should leave in 30," Troye said simply, walking past her into 'his' room. He only had the clothes he was wearing, so he did his best to look presentable with what he had. He still looked a little bit like a mess, but there was nothing he could do in that moment.

Then, with Hannah's help, he gathered a large picnic blanket, along with a few smaller ones and a few pillows. Hannah still looked confused as she helped him load the car, but she didn't say anything. Zoe watched them from inside, eating her breakfast.

At 11:30, they thanked Hannah and said goodbye. Troye promised to return her car by the next day.

"How are you holding up?" Zoe asked as they pulled onto the main road.

"Fine," Troye said. He realized how harsh that sounded. "I'm doing fine, really, Zoe, don't worry," he added.

"Right, because you were fine last night," Zoe shot back.

"I appreciate your concern, Zo. But I will be fine," he said with a finality that shut Zoe up. The ride was quiet and awkward, and by the time they pulled into the starbucks Troye was grateful to get out of the car. He turned off his phone as he did so, not wanting to be bothered.

Zoe followed him inside and he immediately spotted Tyler, but left the other boy waiting as he and Zoe got their coffees.

"Hello, Tyler," Troye said as he sat down carefully. "Hope you don't mind Zoe joining us."

"Hi, Troye," Tyler said, looking at Troye cautiously. "I don't mind." He stared at the cup clasped between his hands, obviously unsure of what to say.

"So," Troye said.

"So," Tyler responded quietly. Troye finally took pity on him.

"Why do you think I should give you a second chance?"

Tyler looked up at him and bit his lip. "I..." he trailed off, glancing back down.

"Then," Troye said. "Why shouldn't I? Why are we sitting here right now, with you begging me to give you a second chance while you have no reason for me to," Troye took a sip of his coffee, glancing over at Zoe next to him. She was watching Tyler intently. He turned back to Tyler.

"Because I really really fucked up," Tyler said eventually.

"How?" Troye prompted, knowing all he needed to do would be get the ball rolling.

"By being selfish and thinking I could live two lives at once. I... my stupidity made me lose you. I think I mistook platonic love for romantic love back then and then when he came along... I didn't want to lose you so I started lying to both of you. I kept telling him I'd break up with you and let you down easy. But I was a coward and I couldn't imagine losing you. I kept on living both lives. I was truly, truly an idiot and I'm not even sure why you're here right now, giving me a second chance to get some of what we had, some of our friendship, I mean, back. I'm sorry, Troye," Tyler's hands tightened on his cup, and Troye was almost worried he would break it. "I don't deserve someone as kind as you in my life and I already hurt you once. It's probably better if you just leave now. Please, Troye." Tyler paused, breathing. "I don't even know what I'm begging you for anymore."

Troye made the decision that he would let Tyler finish before he passed judgement.

The blond met Troye's eyes for the first time since he started talking. There were tears running down his cheeks and fingerprints on his glasses from wiping them away.

"Please, Troye. Part of me wants to beg you to lose your temper for once. To yell at me and break my heart like I broke yours, like I deserve. Because you are too good to me, I mean, I hurt you and you're right here listening to me go on and looking at me without a bit of anger or hate in your eyes. The other part of me is begging you for another chance, even though I know I don't deserve it. Another chance to be friends. I promise I won't ever try to be anything more."

Troye kept watching Tyler intently, knowing he was still not done.

"Please, Troye, say something, anything. Don't just leave me here, dangling at the edge. Push me off or pull me back. I can't keep holding on."

Tyler was done. It struck Troye how similar Tyler and his situation was to his and Connor's, even though his and Tyler's was a much bigger scale. He and Tyler were just looking for forgiveness or anger, something concrete.

So he did what he would want from Connor. He reached out and put a hand on Tyler's shaking hands, clasped around the cup of coffee.

And he smiled gently.

"Tyler," he said. "You say I have no reason to forgive you. Maybe our past shows me that that is true," he paused, trying to judge Tyler's reaction. Tyler nodded his head a little, obviously in defeat. But Troye wasn't done. "But you know what tells me to give you a second chance?"

Tyler looked up and met Troye's eyes.

"You, sitting there right now, telling me that I should leave and turn my back on you. You truly regret what you did, Tyler, I can see that. I can't promise that we'll get everything back, all of our friendship from back then, and I certainly can't promise that I'll ever give you another shot romantically, because that spot is forever taken by Connor, until he choses to leave it and maybe even after," he paused, trying not to think about Connor leaving him. "But I can promise that we can try to be friends again. It will take time, but I'm willing to give it a chance."

Tyler's eyes widened and he nodded, his mouth hanging open slightly.

"Thank you, Troye, a million times, thank you." Troye smiled at him.

"We have a lot to catch up on, Ty," Troye said. And just like that, they talked for what seemed like forever, but the good kind of forever, chatting about this and that. Zoe joined in and Troye found that laughing with Tyler and Zoe called back memories from when they were happy. He felt a weight lift from his shoulders. He still really didn't remember a lot about youtube or his career, but he remembered everything about his friends.

And it was so relieving.

"Tyler?" Troye asked as they made their way to the exit.

"Yeah?" Tyler looked at him questioningly.

"Could you give Zoe a ride?" Both of them looked at him. "There's something I need to do," he explained.

"Sure," Tyler said.

They said goodbye and Troye pulled out his phone, turning it on.

There was no way it was 3:00 already. He stared at his phone in surprise. He was talking for 3 hours.

He had three missed calls.

One from Ricky, one from Hannah.

And one from Connor.

He bit his lips and got into Hannah's car, closing the door and opening his voicemails.

Hannah's message would be the easiest to listen to, he hoped.

"Hey, Troye, it's Hannah. Ricky called me. Connor, too. You need to get your butt over there and win your man back." Her message was short and sweet, worry in her tone instead of anger. Troye was grateful for Hannah, she said things as they were but still cared about him.

He picked Ricky's voicemail next. He needed to save Connor's for last, he knew.

"Troye. Sivan. Mellet." Ricky sounded angry. "You need to get your ass over here right now. Connor needs you, not me. Seriously, I have no clu-" he was cut off by a crash in the background. "Shit," he said. "Connor!" The voicemail cut off.

Troye bit his lip and opened Connor's with an overwhelming sense of dread.

"I'm sorry," Connor said. He sounded sad, not angry, and Troye almost felt like crying. "I'm really fucking sorry, Troye. I shouldn't have sent you away. I should have listened to you and when you apologized. I need you now. Please, I love you. I'm not mad, just come home to me." His voice sounded kind of drunk, whether it was leftover alcohol from the night before or new alcohol he couldn't tell. "Your voice was so pretty when you sang that song, Troye.

_Come home to me,_

_come home to me,_

_back into my arms,_

_home where you belong._

_Come home to me,_

_come home to me,_

_if home is where you are,_

_then home is way too far_

_away._ "

The song sounded amazing as Connor sang it, although Troye had to admit he slurred the words together a little. "Please, Tro." Troye wasn't even aware of the tears streaming down his face at first, his heart breaking as he listened to Connor cry on the other end of the line.

He heard a crash in the voicemail.

"Oops," Connor muttered. "Alcohol everywhere."

"Connor!" Ricky's voice showed up on the recording. This must have been the same time as Ricky's call.

"I was gone for only an hour. You promised you wouldn't drink."

"But I-" the voicemail cut off.

Troye called Ricky, trying not to cry harder.

"Get your ass over here," Ricky said as a greeting.

"Ricky, I-"

"No buts, Troye. He's going on about how he shouldn't have yelled at you. He needs you, he's a mess."

"WIll you listen to me for a second?" Troye asked.

"What," Ricky said, still sounding angry.

"I'll come over at 5:30. Thank you for helping him when I couldn't, it means a lot."

"I didn't do it for you. I did it for him. If you do this to him ever again, I will find you and end you, Troye. I wouldn't even let you try to apologize if I didn't think he needed it."

"R-right," Troye stuttered.

"5:30. It's your last chance."

Ricky hung up. Troye wiped his tears away and started the car, taking a deep breath. He looked like shit, he could tell from the mirror in Hannah's car. He needed to clean up and get some different clothes. This was a grand gesture for Connor, he couldn't look like shit.

His first stop was a nearby pharmacy. The lady at the counter raised an eyebrow at him as he dropped deodorant, a hairbrush, cologne, a toothbrush, and toothpaste. He knew how weird he looked, disheveled and with red, teary eyes. He thanked her and took his purchases into the bathroom.

After cleaning up and smelling at least a little acceptable, he took Hannah's car and drove himself to get clothes.

An hour later, he walked out of the store in black skinny jeans and a tie-dyed blue shirt. He looked considerably better. It was 4:30 by the time he got back in the car, driving to their hill so that he could set up the blankets. He struggled his way up the hill with the blankets and pillows, laying out the big blanket as a base and piling up pillows and blankets on top of it, so that it created a kind of nest.

He checked his phone. 5:00. He had a half hour to get to Connor's and be ready to face him.

He made it to Connor's with 15 minutes to spare, his lip worn from chewing on it in his nervous state.

He folded yesterday's clothes in the back of the car, a paper falling out of the pocket of his jeans.

The lyrics he wrote.

He stared at the paper and made a decision.

He pulled out his phone and set an alarm for 5:28.

And then he sang.

He sang until the song was right and then he sang some more until the alarm went off.

As he got out of the car, he took a deep breath.

"I'm ready to fight for you, Con," he whispered to no one in particular.

He walked to the door, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He assumed that Ricky would answer the door.

It wasn't Ricky, though. It was Connor.

His green eyes widened when he saw Troye, and he opened his mouth to say something. Troye smiled and shook his head, reaching out to put a finger to Connor's lips.

"Hush, just wait. Come with me." Troye took Connor's hand and pulled him to Hannah's car.

He had to admit Connor looked horrible. He was in sweatpants and a t-shirt that Troye recognized as his own. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair was a flat mess.

"Tro-" Connor started.

"Wait," Troye interrupted again gently. Connor looked confused, but he let Troye push him into the passenger seat and start the car.

They drove for a while in silence, but when Troye parked the car at their destination, Connor seemed to realize where they were.

"Wait," Troye repeated. He led Connor to the top of the hill, where the blankets were set up.

"Sit, Con," he said gently. Connor followed his instructions, looking at Troye in confusion.

"I wrote a song last night, when I got to Hannah's," Troye started. "I'm going to sing it to you. Let me sing and then talk to you and then you can say what you need to say."

"Okay," Connor said quietly.

Troye sang his song, trying his hardest not to just throw himself at Connor and kiss him.

"Connor, I really really fucked up by going behind your back. But I'm begging you, please forgive me. Please, Con, I love you so much. I brought you here to try to make it up to you in one of the places that are special to me because I spent time with you in them. I thought maybe we could spend another night under the stars, just like that one time." Troye met Connor's eyes. "I'm not asking for you to forget what happened or for you to ignore it. I'm just asking for a second chance."

"I shouldn't have sent you away in the first place," Connor replied, standing up so he and Troye were face-to-face. "I was a mess. I kept thinking and worrying that my actions, what I'd said to you, was going to make you go away forever because I hurt you."

"So you forgive me?" Troye asked, tentatively.

"If you forgive me," Connor replied. They stood for a minute and then stepped forward into each other's arms.

"I'm sorry for yelling," Connor whispered as he tangled one hand in Troye's hair, the other wrapping around his back and grabbing into his shirt.

"I'm sorry for going behind your back," Troye replied, clutching Connor tightly.

"I love you," Connor said.

"I love you too, Con. Thank you for helping me through this. I'm so glad the accident didn't ruin us."

"Nothing could ever ruin us. I'm hopeless without you, Tro."

Troye smiled into Connor's shoulder.

They spent the night staring at each other, letting the moon and stars illuminate their features.

And Troye knew they would be alright.


End file.
